If you think the GOP's war on women is bad, just pop in a Hitchcock movie and you'll see that the GOP has a long way to go. Because goddamn, Hitchcock. Chill with the murder/rape fantasies, bro. Anyway, here's Anthony Hopkins almost completely unrecognizable as the iconic director for the upcoming film, Hitchcock, which tells the story of the making of Hitchcock's seminal film, Psycho. Scarlett Johansson will play the film's only star (Janet Leigh) who gets stabbed to death in the shower by a creeper mama's boy (Norman Bates/James D'Arcy) with dissociative identity disorder within the first 20 minutes. Jessica Biel is also in it because a film can't have too much quality acting I guess.





Hopkins pic source = Fox Searchlight

Pic source = WENN

You knew this two weeks ago because that's when I posted it, but Us Weekly has their "exclusive" out today confirming in an exclusive way the news that was out two weeks ago. Exclusively. Us Weekly reports:

Several insiders tell the new issue of Us Weekly (on stands Friday) that the couple of four and a half years became engaged in late December. Timberlake, a six-time Grammy winner, popped the question to Biel, 29, in the mountains of Jackson, Wyoming. "Justin knows how much she loves snowboarding and the mountains, so it was the perfect place," one insider explains. After a brief three-month split in 2011, Biel made it clear that she wanted to spend her life with Timberlake, 30. "When they reunited, they had a conversation about taking the next step." Another Timberlake insider adds that he's "never been happier" with the New Year's Eve actress. "He knew it was the right time to propose."

Again, nothing bad to say here. Justin Timberlake seems pretty laid back and Jessica Biel seems OH DAMN DAT ASS. Sorry, I freaked out for a minute there.

Justin Timberlake reportedly proposed to his longtime girlfriend Jessica Biel yesterday at a luxury resort in Wyoming. I know, this is shocking news. I didn't know there was a luxury resort in Wyoming either. Mirror reports:

Justin Timberlake proposed to girlfriend Jessica Biel at a luxury resort in Wyoming on Monday, according to secret sources in the States. The pair are apparently staying at five star skiing resort in Jackson called the Amangani, and – if local reports are to be believed – that’s where Justin got down on one knee. An art gallery in the Jackson apparently heard the news (they were quite literally the talk of the town) and wrote the following tweet: “Word on the street is that Justin Timberlake proposed to Jessica Biel at the Amangani last night.” OK, so it’s not exactly firm evidence, but there’s no smoke without an, um, proposal.

I'd marry Jessica Biel just so I could be in close proximity to her ass everyday, an I haven't even dated her for four years. I have read several articles and looked at numerous pictures of her ass online, so I feel like we have a connection. If this doesn't work out, I'm sure she'll call me. I bet she thinks about me all the time.

Jessica Biel showed up to Letterman last night and oh god dat ass i love you very much is that a new dress you look great tell me about your day i already cooked dinner and folded the laundry how are your feet you want a massage i love you.

Let's face it, the only Oscar Jessica Biel will ever win is one like this if she can pop three balloons with a dart at the state fair, so finding a way to actually be in movies seems like a good idea. Us Magazine reports:

The 29-year-old actress told the Daily Mail that although her first attempt at nudity on the silver screen was a flop, she'd be willing to strip down again for the right role. In the straight to DVD film Powder Blue, Biel played a stripper trying to earn money to raise her terminally ill son. "It's unfortunate," she said of the film. "It was brutal for a while. There was so much more we put into it." Justin Timberlake's girlfriend admitted she cringed seeing the nude scenes from the film plastered over the internet, but she "wasn't so scarred by the experience" that she "wouldn't do it again." "If a director I trusted came to me with an amazing opportunity and it felt organic, I would do it," she says.

You can see the screencaps of Powder Blue here, and you can see her reaction when she first saw my penis here. And how she looked after we had sex here. I could go on and on like this for a while, but Hell On Wheels just came on so I kinda need to wrap this up. You understand.

Jessica Biel attended the 28th Annual Night of Stars in NYC last night, and I'm only posting this because every time I post about her I get comments saying that she's a man and there's no way [ insert anonymous commenter here] would ever have sex with her. So in case one of you are reading this, whenever you put down your Details Magazine and Cosmopolitan take a look at this and this then get back to me you huge fag.

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Like Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Biel is in Paris for Fashion Week. But unlike Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Biel hasn't sucked a dick for blow this week and managed to get out of a car like her OB/GYN wasn't waiting on the curb. All of this leads me to believe that there is no God.

Everyone knows by now that Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel broke up after four years because Timberlake wanted to take a Hollywood vagina tasting tour. But what you don't know is that Justin Timberlake is some sort of infidelity ninja, his penis lying in wait ready to strike at a moment's notice. Radar Online reports:

Star magazine claims that Justin had been “pursuing women behind Jessica’s back,” for a while and that he was spotted whispering with co-star Mila Kunis at a recent party. Justin reportedly “actively tried to pursue” Kunis last year, but she spurned his many advances. Mila and Justin filmed nude scenes together for Friends With Benefits in 2010, but despite his telling her that he and Jessica were secretly over, Mila didn’t take the bait. Knowing he still had a girlfriend, Mila didn’t accept his affections or advances. In addition, Timberlake was reportedly having “amazing sex” with Olivia Munn in October while they were filming together. According to other reports, Justin would often use a guy friend as his wingman and cover guy, having the buddy get a number from the girl and leave with her, while Justin would be the one who would eventually hook-up with her. As Justin’s fame is increasing with the attention he received from The Social Network, Jessica had tried being supportive, attending awards season parties with him, but the pair finally called it splits last week. And according to Us Weekly Timberlake was “miserable” with dating Biel for a couple of years and had been actively trying to end the relationship since January. “Justin thinks the breakup will be good because he can focus on his other ventures and just enjoy being single,” a source told the magazine. “You’d be surprised at how soon the love was lost on this one.

Don't get me wrong, Jessica Biel's ass could launch a thousand ships, but after four years sometimes you get tired of fucking a bitch. It happens. If you want unconditional love and someone to be happy every time you walk into a room, buy a dog. If you want to blow me in exchange for flowers and an 8:00 reservation at that restaurant you like, we can hang out until that gets boring.